I am not happy - I think the first step to any problem is admitting that the problem is there. My unhappiness was always the elephant in the room that I tried to ignore. I was always trying to prove people that i was happy and got mad when they didn't believe me. How? When i could not even believe myself? The problem with people now a days is that they think they are happy. I have known for sometime now that I have not been but, I constantly try and make myself believe that I am. Up until this point I have lived in a fairytale world. I got snapped back into reality when I was driving last night, “Why am I here? Why am I driving? What point am I proving?” The only point I was proving was that I in fact am an idiot because gas is three dollars, extra cause I use premium and i’m driving with no destination. I irresponsibly let my unhappiness pour into things that I find a liking to, i.e photography and writing. Sadly when this happens I get a mood that I hate to be in. Confusion, anger, bitterness and everything in between. I haven't written anything substantial in three months. Here I am though, attacking the problem head on, making sure no one gets in my way. All the hurt and anger i have built up from things I have never talked about and probably never will; I’ll use it as ammunition. I started writing for people like myself who are afraid to speak because they do not know what or how to say it. I have a gift so why not use it?
Without Wax - Chloe Ridore