In the past week my life has changed. I stopped eating meat again, I started reading again and I learned to finally forgive. All these things have somehow managed to make their way back into my life and although a week, I have somehow managed to think more rational despite the little bumps in the road.
For those who may not know, once I am completely done with something I drop it. Cold Turkey. I remember the day so clearly. I woke up and told myself I don’t want to eat meat. I was fifteen years old and I was determined. It worked for the next 5 years then, I slipped up, one Haitian Independence Day (that darn soup joumou). My whole five years went down the drain. Fast forward to now an eager twenty - two year old with the same determination she had seven years prior. A lot of people would ask me, “Are you trying to lose weight?” “Why are you depriving yourself?” “What’s it like?” For five years straight I told them the same thing, “I do not eat meat because it teaches me discipline and self - control.” I thought more because I couldn't settle for anything. Of course it has its downfalls especially when people forget. Now you have to eat finger food and left over fruit that you swore you saw flies have a get together on just a few moments ago but the willpower. The willpower that comes with it, is worth it in the long run.
With discipline and self-control, come knowledge. I love to learn. I may seem as though I do not listen BUT trust me I hear everything a person teaching me has to say, (I sometimes just like learning things my way so I can then teach myself how to avoid it). With learning I adapted this sudden urge to read. Contrary, I detest reading something that won’t stimulate my mind EXCEPT if it is a well written romance novel. I love romance novels. The past week though, I was having a very deep conversation with one of my customers. They referred to me, two books that I have since read the first and cannot put down the second. It is very rare I connect with something so quickly but for some reason these books spoke to me. Once I am done reading them, I will reference where to get them and do a review of how I interpreted the two in an article.
Since reading these books I have learned how to actually forgive. And no, not saying it just to say it but to actually mean it. I am no saint or a sinner but I have done things. I have had things done to me that I have carried around for years. Baggage, upon baggage, upon baggage. I always wondered why haven't I been able to get rid of the stress and anger I have had built up. Just for me to realize I haven’t forgave. I had to come to terms that people and instances will never say sorry, and if they do it is rare. If they don’t, don’t hold on to it. Forgive, don't forget but don’t dwell, just move on. The most important thing is to move on. Once you do, you no longer let what or whoever hurt you have a place in your sanity. People do not realize a lot of the reason people are angry is not because of you but what has happened to them. It sucks but, c’est la vie. In life we must forgive, one of the hardest lessons I had to teach myself, was forgiving without an apology. Once you come to terms with that, you’re on the path to a better you! I am proud of myself and of you! Have an amazing week and I’ll see you here next thursday.
Without Wax - Chloe Ridore