I woke up confused, I laid in my bed drenched in a cold sweat. I turned on the lamp no shackles, no chains. “Where was I?” I asked myself this question out loud in hopes I would answer but I was confused. I looked at the clock and it read four- fifty- eight, just two minutes prior to when my alarm was set to go off. I took it upon myself to get ready to start my day.
My name is Mahogany, a strange name for an even stranger man. I grew in Ohio and I was raised by my father. At the tender age of four my mother left us. I don’t remember her but, should I? I was lonely most of my life I grew up not knowing love because I was not able to obtain it. My father would joke and say, my mother left us because we were kissed too much by the sun. I would laugh at his jokes, then cry later without him. I felt ashamed because why wouldn’t she want me? Why was I not good enough for her? These are the questions a young boy asked himself in the deepest parts of the night. Eventually I stopped asking, eventually I stopped crying.
Tallulah was the first time I loved anything. I knew I wanted to be with her but I knew she wasn’t right for me. I watched her everyday from a distance. I watched get happy, I watched her get sad, I watched her laugh and I watched her get mad. I watched Tallulah for one year until I mustered up the courage to ask her on a date. I imagined her reaction so prepared myself, I accepted rejection and took a chance. The first thing I complemented was her hair. For Tallulah was the rawest embodiment of a beautiful black woman. Her skin was sun kissed as mine was. Her lips were full, like mine were. Her smile was so radiant and pure. But the only thing I loved more about was her hair.
“I guess you don’t need a hat”, I said. “What did you say?” She replied quick and eager, her attitude showed her feelings. “Since your hair shields you from the sun, you don’t need a hat”, I reiterated. Her face was confused and that was an emotion i never prepared myself for. She laughed at me and I sunk into a place I never been before, embarrassment. To my surprise she stopped and said, “you’re right, hats aren’t for me nor my hair. Thank you for noticing.” She left with a smile on her face, I knew that was the first day Tallulah noticed me and what an impression I made.